Ups and downs

July 21, 2023

Since my last post, I haven’t done so well. It was my birthday on July 11th, and I used it as an excuse to drink five times that week. It hasn’t been all bad, though. I’ve been up and down, mostly down, admittedly. My depression has been horrendous. I mean, it makes sense when I’ve drunk so much.

I’ve been listening to a podcast by Daniel O’Reilly or Dapper Laughs for the cool kids out there. It’s called Menace to Sobriety. I found a few clips on YouTube that all struck a chord with me. I’ve since listened to every episode and joined the “Men And Their Emotions” Facebook group, which has over forty thousand struggling blokes.

It’s made me realise that my problems are theirs and I’m not alone. I’ve never resonated more with a podcast ever. In one episode, Daniel talks about a book by Alan Carr called “No more hangovers”, and I read it cover to cover in about an hour. It’s a small book, every page is about a paragraph or so, but it’s very poignant. Here’s a snippet from one of the pages:

Can you think of a single instance where alcohol genuinely solved a problem?

A good night’s sleep won’t solve your problems either. But it will recharge your batteries, help you get the situation in perspective, and leave you better able to tackle it. Getting drunk will run down your batteries and make molehills seem like mountains.

Think of your acquaintances. Who are some of the most stressed and nervous? Aren’t they the people who use drugs such as alcohol and nicotine to try and cope with the stress and nerves?

But a little bit of stress and stimulus can be useful as a stimulus to take action.

I’ve done really well this week. I haven’t drunk since last Saturday and am determined to beat the weekend. I’ve been to the gym every day this week and want to get there this weekend, too. After the gym this morning, I popped into Morrisons to get some alcohol-free beer.

I will not fail this weekend. I’m more determined than ever. This is the weekend where I break the loop.